Holidays On Ice

Author: David Sedaris
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 9780316073639
Size: 16.44 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favorites as the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow"); the puzzling Christmas traditions of other nations ("Six to Eight Black Men"); what Halloween at the medical examiner's looks like ("The Monster Mash"); and a barnyard secret Santa scheme gone awry ("Cow and Turkey"). No matter what your favorite holiday, you won't want to miss celebrating it with the author who has been called "one of the funniest writers alive" (Economist).

Santaland Diaries

Author: David Sedaris
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0748123075
Size: 42.97 MB
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Santaland Diaries collects six of David Sedaris's most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last-minute coaster or ice-scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the back seat of a police car. It should be read with your eyes, felt with your heart, and heard only when spoken to. It should, in short, behave much like a book. And oh, what a book it is!

When You Are Engulfed In Flames

Author: David Sedaris
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 9780316032513
Size: 71.46 MB
Format: PDF
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"David Sedaris's ability to transform the mortification of everyday life into wildly entertaining art," (The Christian Science Monitor) is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this remarkable new book. Trying to make coffee when the water is shut off, David considers using the water in a vase of flowers and his chain of associations takes him from the French countryside to a hilariously uncomfortable memory of buying drugs in a mobile home in rural North Carolina. In essay after essay, Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life-having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger on a plane or armoring the windows with LP covers to protect the house from neurotic songbirds-to the most deeply resonant human truths. Culminating in a brilliant account of his venture to Tokyo in order to quit smoking, David Sedaris's sixth essay collection is a new masterpiece of comic writing from "a writer worth treasuring" (Seattle Times). Praise for When You Are Engulfed in Flames: "Older, wiser, smarter and meaner, Sedaris...defies the odds once again by delivering an intelligent take on the banalities of an absurd life." --Kirkus Reviews This latest collection proves that not only does Sedaris still have it, but he's also getting better....Sedaris's best stuff will still--after all this time--move, surprise, and entertain." --Booklist Table of Contents: It's Catching Keeping Up The Understudy This Old House Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie? Road Trips What I Learned That's Amore The Monster Mash In the Waiting Room Solutions to Saturday's Puzzle Adult Figures Charging Toward a Concrete Toadstool Memento Mori All the Beauty You Will Ever Need Town and Country Aerial The Man in the Hut Of Mice and Men April in Paris Crybaby Old Faithful The Smoking Section

The Autobiography Of Santa Claus

Author: Jeff Guinn
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101127773
Size: 33.32 MB
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It all started when Jeff Guinn was assigned to write a piece full of little-known facts about Christmas for his paper, The Fort Worth Star-Telegram. A few months later, he received a call from a gentleman who told him that he showed the story to an important friend who didn’t think much of it. And who might that be? asked Jeff. The next thing he knew, he was whisked off to the North Pole to meet with this “very important friend,” and the rest is, well, as they say, history. An enchanting holiday treasure, The Autobiography of Santa Claus combines solid historical fact with legend to deliver the definitive story of Santa Claus. And who better to lead us through seventeen centuries of Christmas magic than good ol’ Saint Nick himself? Families will delight in each chapter of this new Christmas classic—one per each cold December night leading up to Christmas!

You Better Not Cry

Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9781429943758
Size: 17.18 MB
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You've eaten too much candy at Christmas...but have you ever eaten the face off a six-footstuffed Santa? You've seen gingerbread houses...but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You've woken up with a hangover...but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.

Barrel Fever

Author: David Sedaris
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 9780316031653
Size: 68.30 MB
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In David Sedaris' world, no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer, Sedaris' collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves. David Sedaris made his debut on NPR's Morning Edition with "SantaLand Diaries", recounting his strange-but-true experiences as an elf at Macy's, and soon became one of the show's most popular commentators. With a perfect eye and a voice infused with as much empathy as wit, Sedaris writes stories and essays that target the soulful ridiculousness of our behavior. Barrel Fever is like a blind date with modern life, and anything can happen.

Let S Explore Diabetes With Owls

Author: David Sedaris
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316125687
Size: 56.85 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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A guy walks into a bar car and... From here the story could take many turns. When this guy is David Sedaris, the possibilities are endless, but the result is always the same: he will both delight you with twists of humor and intelligence and leave you deeply moved. Sedaris remembers his father's dinnertime attire (shirtsleeves and underpants), his first colonoscopy (remarkably pleasant), and the time he considered buying the skeleton of a murdered Pygmy. With Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls, David Sedaris shows once again why his work has been called "hilarious, elegant, and surprisingly moving" (Washington Post).

You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams

Author: Alan Cumming
Publisher: Rizzoli Ex Libris
ISBN: 9780847849000
Size: 37.79 MB
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A beloved actor and famous man-on-the-scene, Alan Cumming takes the reader on a wild journey of pithy and cheeky fun, presenting his real-life stories of debauchery during late night Hollywood parties, behind-the-scenes anecdotes, and hilarious yet poignant memories of his life, family, and friends. If you were to put David Sedaris and Glenn O’Brien in a blender and add a dash of New York and Hollywood gossip, you would wind up with Alan Cumming. Described by Time magazine as "one of the most fun people in show business," Cumming is a genuine triple-threat as a successful stage, television, and film star whose real-life vivacity, sophisticated wit, and charm tend to match that of his onstage personalities. In his third book, You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams, he has composed a collection of true-life adventures—or rather, misadventures—that is sure to make the reader laugh out loud. This volume recounts the hysterical and sometimes embarrassing encounters that only Cumming could experience, from awkwardly entertaining Elizabeth Taylor at Carrie Fisher’s birthday party to being on a movie set with Helen Mirren and being mocked for wearing Croc sandals to making a friend’s day by chasing down Oprah at a glitzy gala for a prized photograph with her. These forty-five stories are humorous novellas, each featuring memorable photographs—many simply snapshots taken by Cumming—that document or illustrate the tale told. "

Dress Your Family In Corduroy And Denim

Author: David Sedaris
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 9780759511217
Size: 50.46 MB
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David Sedaris plays in the snow with his sisters. He goes on vacation with his family. He gets a job selling drinks. He attends his brother's wedding. He mops his sister's floor. He gives directions to a lost traveler. He eats a hamburger. He has his blood sugar tested. It all sounds so normal, doesn't it? In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives -- a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.

Jacob T Marley

Author: R. William Bennett
Publisher: Shadow Mountain
ISBN: 9781609079154
Size: 75.35 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" is a holiday favorite and this new book, written in the style of Dickens, tells the story from the perspective of the character who was a ruthless taskmaster business partner who taught and influenced Scrooge and then saved him from the brink of a terrible fate. "Jacob T. Marley" is to "A Christmas Carol" as the world-famous "Wicked" is to "The Wizard of Oz" and is a masterfully crafted story teaching us, once again, the true meaning of Christmas.